I have to come out and say it, I love this series! *cough* for all the wrong reasons *cough*. I never felt like poking this much fun at something for a very, very long time. And here I have the fabulous opportunity to do it again.
Let’s start with, well, the very beginning starts out hilarious. You have these military types watching the battle simulation, and some dude has the bright idea to fire up the security cam, and they spy on Kazuya’s glomping action. And that’s it. THAT’S IT. No “who’s that boy? Not from here? Arrest him for disturbing the girl on girl action!”, no APB, no “Who is this boy? I want everything on him, phone, medical records, credit cards, porn stash, etc”, instead, we got this: “Oh! Some nice boobies!” “That boy ruined evrything!” “But he’s not from around these here parts.” “Hmm, he’s wearing a uniform.” “Just look at that frozen girl.” “Wish I was the poor bastard.” Then after that, the principal finally fires up her brain and calls him out. Does it really take that long to realize? I guess it’s different for characters with closed eyes lol.
The next part is just as hilarious. Kazuya further confirms my horror that he indeed fell for Satell-chan all because of her shampoo commercial. And, this be important. The cake girl is tutoring Kazu on Satell 101, and Satell walks by with a cane. Kazu in all his wisdom calls out to her, then GRABS HER. After having been warned by the Cake Girl. Talk about not even short term memory. But it get’s better. During the 1 minute 10 second span from his grab to her weapon activation, Satell-chan gasped a solo audible cute version of a gasp 12 times (excluding the ones mixed with voice). I’m not throwing down the voice actress (great work by Yakumo Tsukamoto), but you gotta admit, in all her purity, the untouchable queen was… cute? Ahem anyways, you thought I must be done by now. No, not close. Satell-chan then walks off. WITHOUT HER CANE. Honestly, I would have nitpicked her use of glasses-over-eyepatch, because really, unless it is her dominant eye (in
which those with a 20/20 and a dominant eye wouldn’t need glasses), but wearing optics while eyepatched puts extra strain on the one eye being used, but that’s not what I laughed at. Why did she leave her cane? Doesn’t it hurt? I can only guess she skipped out on the doctor’s appointment, since you know, she’s the untouchable queen, where not even a doctor can touch her lol.
It gets out of hand, really. Ganessa then walks in, yadda yadda yoda, but then Kazu tells the Cake Girl “we gotta stop ’em!”, to which a nameless girl replies with glee “That’s something you don’t see everyday!”, which is her codeword for “you’re going to see even more pointless fights from here on out!” lol. Talk about being mentally prepared, the Cake Girl was not. A Student Council president, powerless at this moment? Lily Shiraishi from Ichiban Ushiro no Dai Maou would have laid the smackdown on these 2 girls. Hell, Sekirei’s Hanya of the North clearly bitchslaps misconduct among the girls. And yet, Cake Girl here is… probably not a Pandora, oh right maybe that’s why SHE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING.
The fight is, how should I say, poorly animated, to say the least. I mean, I like fanservice, and was mortally wounded at the cropped Ganessa goodness of the eyecatch, but really, I don’t like blatant fanservice, as to me, a clever fanservice is more “in-your-face” surprisingly fun, instead of the “I-saw-it-coming-for-12-years” boring. And when Satell’s pantsu flashed onscreen stationary center focus for a second or 2, that was blatant fanservice, if it were properly animated, the better in-your-face fanservice would have had her moving left to right in slow-mo (or no slow-mo). But that’s not all. Satell was once again just standing around, waving her blade around looking all untouchable. Seriously, maybe it was the wrong animation studio, but it’s really hard to believe she’s all untouchable when she’s animated this way, clearly a missed opportunity to make this series very epic. Now, it never ends, does it? How does an eyepatched girl, without her
glasses, become agile enough to dodge multiple bogeys? Not even Ikkitousen’s resident eyepatch depend on glasses, making her performance a little more believable, but really Satell-chan, not only did you NOT need the cane, but you really didn’t need your glasses? To top it off you weren’t really injured, were you? What is this, drama queen now? Right now I’m going to pull something from my hammerspace bag and say, when she draws her weapon, her body heals itself and her eye(s) becomes 20. I think I’m a fan already.
Finally Cake Girl manages to say something reasonable to stop the fight, but that’s it. SAY. Not “do”. She didn’t do anything. And then (remember I am still laughing) to top it off, Pandora Mode activation generates nuclear power blowing a nice gust of wind. With Satell’s Pandora Mode activation, she let out a nuclear blast. It got me thinking, what if a bunch of these girls went Pandora in formation, the resulting winds could very well cool their globally warmed planet lol. But I’m still enjoying this, because Ganessa finally bitchslaps Kazu, I was like “YEEEAAAH you go girl!”, but then cue some more poorly animated fights where we are supposed to believe Satell-chan owned Ganessa simply by a slicing sound effect and ketchup flying in the air. Talk about killing my fun lol.
End my fun with teacher’s ending the fight instead of the Cake Girl, some yummy nay-kid Ganessa, and… I laughed once again when the undergrounder shota-con Miyabi showed up. Seriously, what is with these behind-the-scenes type of girls and purple-ish environments? Did I say Etou Fujiko?
I did now.